New year, New mindset

It’s a NEW YEAR!!

So much hope and anticipation for greatness in the air! I love the positivity and energy!Unfortunately there is also negative vibes in the air as well. But the point of this blog is to encourage you not to focus on those. Be the positive influence. Be the change.

Up until the new year last night, I saw so many negative posts on social media saying “I’m cutting people off in 2018″, I’m only focused on myself, etc.” We all know these posts to well because we all have someone on our timeline who refuses to grow. Yes, we all know someone who refuses to be selfless, mature or who chooses negative perspectives on situations instead of seeing the best in people or circumstances. Always saying someone is hating on them or always looking at circumstances from a victim standpoint.  I know this mindset all too well because even though I would never post those cliché quotes on social media I was like this in a lot of ways through my mindset. It’s not easy to admit our shortcomings, but we all have them. The difference maker is are you choosing to attack those shortcomings head on or are you going to go on another year stuck in toxic mentalities? You choose.

I used to be the person who would cut people off without thought, because it was easier to just not be bothered. Family, friends whomever would stress me and I felt justified in this mindset because I talked myself into believing it was healthy. “I’m protecting myself and my energy”. Now to an extent it is healthy to evaluate interpersonal connections and access which ones bring you positive vibes and which ones drain you. That assessment is healthy, to be aware.  I also believe cutting certain energy and relationships off IS healthy in some cases. God does not call us to be pushover people pleasers just because we are Christians. The problem comes in when we don’t pray about what it is GOD is specifically trying to show us through these revelations. Because if we are honest with ourselves, God is not always telling us to cut people off. Sometimes he purposely puts difficult people and situations in our paths to help us develop godly character. Furthermore, he sometimes wants us to pray for others or be a positive influence to them in some form or fashion. You will never know if you keep avoiding people and situations that seem difficult.

Basically what I’m trying to get at in a nutshell is that hard seasons and difficult people help us develop character and growth that may not happen otherwise. The easy route is to just cut them off or avoid them. You don’t have to deal with the person or situation that maybe bringing up ugliness inside of you or stretching you to grow. Anyone naturally would cut that kind of energy off. It takes ALOT of maturity to face our flaws, deal with people who don’t operate like you in every aspect and not look at ourselves through rose colored glasses all the time. I’ve learned to be cautious around people who always make others the issue, you know, the ones who wont accept ANY responsibility. That’s not honest and that is very unhealthy.

I had to face this reality many times in my life. Some situations definitely required complete separation. Some others were mutually deciding to be just cordial after an attempt of reconciliation and understanding. That’s the difference between someone who makes bitter statements about ex-communicating themselves from others without thought. They sometimes don’t even give an opportunity for a conversation or understanding, or growth. Sometimes those individuals cut people off without communicating any frustrations or strains they may have experienced internally. THAT is the unhealthy mindset I’m talking about here.

You cannot go through life like that, playing the victim all the time. Trust me I know from experience, it is a never ending hole. It is a refusal to grow up. One important relationship in my life showed me that I had some attitude issues in this area. I was a very reaction based person when someone offended me. Unfortunately I was heavily led by my emotions. Now If I didn’t endure this relationship and choose to self evaluate along the way I could have easily just tossed this person and their thoughts of me. But you know what they were RIGHT. That takes humility to admit. Now I’m working on being better in these areas, I’m choosing to grow up. I’m choosing to pass the test God kept bringing up in different ways with different people. In the past I wouldn’t have listened. Choosing to develop a new mindset taught me to check myself more often.

It is always easier to point blame at others out of our stubbornness or pride. It is harder to look in the mirror and tell ourselves the truth about ourselves.  Let’s start this new year off with a mindset of growth, peace and being true servants of Christ. There’s a lot of commands God gives us in his word that are naturally NOT easy to do. It’s not easy to fight our flesh and not be led by our emotions. BUT it is possible if we have the power of God in us with a commitment to do right moment by moment. Feed your spirit and I bet things like this will start to become easier.  IT’S HARD to live right, but it is necessary and the intrinsic rewards are priceless. The joy that comes with choosing to love and pursue peace in your life and relationships is truly priceless. Don’t go into this year being bitter and negative, cutting people off left and right without doing a heart check first. Because you know what sis, sometimes the problem is YOU. Let’s be better, lets do better and lets develop a mindset like Christ; to pursue love, joy and peace.

“Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.”- Psalm 34:14





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