I dont like her

Petty-Treating others as if they are of little importance, trivial.

Remember the movie mean girls with Regina George and her clique? How immature they were and jealous and cold towards other girls? The same behavior goes on today, same script different cast.

This has been brewing in my spirit for quite some time. Like, some women nowadays are just grown MEAN GIRLS. Childish, petty, arrogant and mean. It’s so sad because its sometimes very subtle. Showing favoritism, leaving others out, developing cliques, internet bullies. You name it.

It’s as if some people don’t grow up from high school or college. You remember in those days there were the popular kids who made others feel as if they didn’t exist. Some of these people are STILL trying to live in their prime, STILL trying to one up other people, and STILL trying to out flex the next person. WHO CARES?!

We are Grown! Well at least we are supposed to be right??

It saddens me to see this mindset amongst women. It’s glorified in today’s reality shows, the younger generation of girls are looking up to this and starting to mimic what they see. Isn’t it a shame when the older women, who are supposed to be the leaders and examples, are the main ones being childish and petty. What happened to sisterhood? What happened to sticking together? What happened to encouraging one another and congratulating another woman when she is doing her thing?

I hate that popular hashtag “#youcantsitwithus”. It’s so rude and self-centered. Why can’t women who may not dress like you, act like you, maybe not in the same class as you financially and socially, sit with you? Why?The only women who say things like this are women who are deeply insecure and love covering it up by feeling that they are better than someone or a group of other women. It’s pretty SAD. This phrase is often times glorified and used a lot by GROWN women who feel they are “better than you”.

Lets get to the point of this blog; to shed light on the truth. THIS IS NOT BIBLICAL. This attitude is not one that honors God.

The bible speaks of fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5:22-23

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

These are the attitudes we should be striving for as women who want to honor God and be examples to other women. We are supposed to be leaders to other women, and those of us who are in teaching positions concerning the word, the bibles calls us to teach younger women in the way of the word, NOT MESS.

Titus 2:3-5  {Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,  to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.}

My question to you is (if this is you), why are you like this? What happened in your childhood that made you so insecure and mean? What does it prove to others to point out a flaw to make yourself feel better? Why do you talk about other women and make light of your own issues? WHY?

If this resonates with you, I challenge you to take some time and look in the mirror. Ask God to help you stop being petty and stop putting others down. Its HARD, trust me I know because I used to be the Queen of pettiness. Call me petty pettina. I was PETTY to the core, my excuse was “I’m only petty to people who cross me or do me wrong”. STILL WRONG. I called everyone out on their mess and would tear you down in a second if you tried me.

Thank God for GROWTH! When I look back on how immature and petty I was, I thank God for his healing power and ability to renew our minds. Once my perspective changed I did. I NEVER want to go back to being that girl, because truth is deep down I wasn’t truly happy being the funny girl who you didn’t want to try. It was a defense mechanism. I’d rather have godly women in my life who tell me the truth, lift me up and tell me that, that type of attitude isn’t attractive.  I no longer feel the pressure to defend myself all the time. God fights my battles now.

Romans 12:19 {Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”}

So I challenge you, if you are struggling with being petty, check yourself, question your motives and develop some godly friendships with people who will tell you the TRUTH IN LOVE.




Published by

Katondra Dunn

Katondra is a southern girl originally from South Florida. She currently resides in Maryland with her husband and son. She loves Jesus, fitness, good food and new adventures. Her motto is "Do all things with love!"

2 thoughts on “I dont like her

  1. Wow! What a beautifully written piece. It’s so true that we never really grow up from high school thinking and mindset that it can effect our present day and lives. Its important to recognize that we are petty sometimes and instead of bonding as women we tear each other down with our negative words and attitudes. Its a stronghold the devil has on us because he knows that we are stronger together so he keeps us apart with childish thinking and attitudes. I always want to see other women even those I dont like initially with posivitivity and love because like you said that is what we are called to do.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic this week. It has really given me new perspective on how to treat other women around us. The best way to fight negativity and pettiness is with God’s kindness and love he has put in us and used through us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Kesha for your support! You are absolutely correct! The best way to combat pettiness is to show Gods love and kindness to others! I still struggle with the temptation to be this way sometimes, but I know through the power of God I can overcome! 🙂


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